First Mother’s Day without Momma Bear

How time has seemed to go by so painfully fast and slow since the passing of my mother on the 10th of April 2025. Grief is strange, and currently it feels life has lost some colour and the things that mattered in the past…….no longer matter. Life in its finite seems to have permanently changed me which has shifted my perspective, goals, and priorities. As I write this on the first Mother’s Day without her, I feel silly for the things that got in the way of our relationship at times.

There was a wise teacher who wrote his words of wisdom down, under a Solomon-persona, in one of my favourite biblical books called Ecclesiastes. He starts off this book in by saying the following:

“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” – Ecclesiastes 1:2 NIV

While this verse appears very dark, many biblical scholars believe a better translation would be changing the word meaningless to VAPOR.

“Vapor! Vapor!” says the Teacher. “Utterly vapor! Everything is vapor.”

This wise teacher, in his time with God has realised some transformative wisdom. He is trying to share that with us, so we can realise that everything is vapor. In a moment we are here and then gone. Once gone life keeps going forward without us, because it is all vapor. Realising our finite time here, can have a tremendous impact on us, transforming us to find the beauty within our vapor management as we discover the fulfilment found in pursuing what really matters in this life.

Jesus points to us towards what really matters in our vapor management. In Matthew 22:37-40, he tells us that the most important commandments are to LOVE GOD and LOVE OUR NEIGHBOUR as OURSELVES. These two commandments are not in competition but go together in a beautiful intertwinement, because when we love GOD, we discover them all around us in and through our relationships. Our God is a relational being, and we see this clearly in our God being 3 and 1. This perfect dance and relationship of the Trinity birth all of creation. We are called as humans to be in relationship with God and others. Joining in the divine relationship happening all around us, that nature sings to us every day.

That is why on this first Mother’s Day without my Momma Bear, I feel silly for the things that got in the way our relationship at times. The things that I made an issue, which in the end, didn’t matter at all. As I reflect on the last conversation I had with my mom, it is funny at how all the injustices in my mind, didn’t matter as I held the hand of my mother. We were both tired, fragile, and scared. God held both of us in their love, and injustice melted away. Instead of bringing up any injustice, all I could say was, “Love you Mom, and thanks for being my mom. You were the mom I needed. Caleb, Gideon, and Essie love you and you were the Jedda they needed.” I said some other things regarding some heavenly lasagne and ended it with our special word OPANINTILLION.

The reason I am sharing this is to remind you on this Mother’s Day to focus on what matters when it comes to relationships. We too often get hung up on so many trivial things, which ultimately in the end don’t matter. My mom was perfectly imperfect, and I regret not being willing to show up for her at times. She always showed up for me to the best of her ability and loved me for who I was, including all my imperfections. So, I encourage you to show up in the relationships that matter in your life. This includes our relationship with God, who just wants us as we are…perfectly imperfect because in the end it is all vapor. Don’t wait till grief and the finite of life slaps you in the face.

OPANINTILLION MOMMA BEAR and can’t wait for to share some heavenly lasagne with you.